11:11am
28th February 2012
Everything is a mess right now, I cried myself to sleep last night because I’m so stressed and hate this place right now. I would drop out if I didn’t think I’d hate myself more for it in the long run. I can’t keep up with all of these deadlines and expectations anymore. I’ve been crying for the past twenty minutes because I got an unexpected care package from my mom that I don’t deserve; I was home all weekend and didn’t even make the time to see her. I’ve even been ignoring her calls the past couple of days just because I didn’t feel like talking, I’m a terrible daughter. On top of it all I’m scared to death that I might be pregnant. That’s not an option for me right now at all, I can’t deal with this. Usually it’s normal for me to have abnormal periods but I’ve had been unprotected sex recently, which I know is stupid and irresponsible but I guess my thing is to make mad decisions now, so I can’t rule out that option and I know this stress will completely mess with my cycle even if I’m not pregnant. And then I’m worried about my dad, he hasn’t had any luck finding a job and my sister’s going to join the army but she practically supports him so I don’t know how he’ll be if she does end up leaving.
I don’t want to seem like I’m looking for pity, please don’t give me advice or anything, I just don’t have anywhere else to vent and I feel like I’m going insane.
